Topic: Attempt at MPD revival #1

[Wraith-1]

-Aboard the gunship Shrike II-


Wraith: We've closed to within 15,000 km. Start preparing to descend into the atmosphere.

Mercury: No! Hold in orbit for just a few minutes, I've almost finished work on my machine!

Dumbster: Hey, why didn't you tell me about this machine?

Ignore him, we already know he's where thoughts go to die. I thought you already finished the S-beam, what
is left to be done?

Well, I obviously need to modify the particle rifles, or the beam will be useless.

Reckless Rick: Oooh, if you messed with my particle rifles you BETTER have a good reason.

We need to fire a spray of ions at it when we get within range.

So we can get an accurate scan with our telemetric mass spectrometer beam.

And then we duplicate it from the data obtained from the scan.

Wait, I thought you liked this!

Pssh, I don't want it for myself, we're gonna sell all the duplicates! We're gonna be rich! *starts
laughing maniacally*

Ohhh, SWEET! Hg, you done with my rifle yet?

*continues laughing maniacally*

I got a rifle!

*passed out from laughing maniacally, ship starts automatic landing sequence*

Uh, no dummy, that's a bazooka. Not a ion rifle. Luckily, I've got a REAL particle rifle. Let's go scan that VIAL!

[Scyphi]

[*suddenly appearing and looks at post above* Heeeeey, that's looks like fun! Can we go there? Please please please please please?--StupidScyphi]

[Well, first we're going to have to get out of this darn prison.--Scyphi]

[*slaps him on the back of the head* Then DO something about it, you twit! YOU'RE the writer, after all!--EvilScyphi]

[Wraith-1]

Hg: It's been 3 days, and they haven't moved. There's still some structure around them blocking our scans.
Rick: Well, we have enough power in the cap' banks to pulverize that entire compound! What are we waiting for?
Dummy: Catching popcorn in my mouth is so hard!
Well, if we crush them with a couple of coilgun slugs, not only will we run the risk of destroying the vial, we will also have to recharge the caps before we can use the energy for scanning.
Well, can we ask Wraith about it?
*Wraith wakes up, starts laughing maniacally again, passes out again*
Almost got one!
Computer! Give Wraith a couple of stims. Trust me Rick, they won't be able to stay in there forever.
Yeah, but we don't get to kill anyone your way. I'm going to ready the coilguns for firing just in case you change your mind *flips open button cover*.
Well, I think we can afford a bit of patience. Remember that we will be able to buy our own tropical planet when this scheme is complete!
*starts choking on piece of popcorn*
All these years, my friends thought I'd never make it as a mad scientist! I will show them... All of them! Mweahaha!
Yeah, I guess there'd be a lot of stuff to ignite on a planet like that...
*While flailing around in an attempt to dislodge the piece of popcorn, manages to accidentally slam into the fire button*
Lights dim, the ship vibrates slightly, and a plume of plasma rushes from both guns as 2 ferromagnetic spheres fly toward the building...
*falls over, lands on stomach, spits out popcorn*
ಠ_ಠ Please say those did not get a direct hit.
Vulcan: Scanners report 2 direct hits...
NOOOOOOO
...on what appears to be a prison control center. Or at least, it used to be a control center.
Uhhh. What was that big 'whoosh' noise?
That moron just depleted our capacitor banks!
Dang. So, I don't suppose we can recharge before they can get somewhere safe?
Without our docking station, it will take 14 hours to recharge from solar.
Don't look at me, Mercury is the one who took our bigger... Uh, whatever holds the power!
That reminds me, I haven't seen Shrike I since you borrowed-
I don't want to talk about it.
Ooh, I have it! *holds out scrap of metal* This is what's left! It was awesome!
Uh, guys? Remember how we hit that control center? And, if our targets were in a prison, destroying the control center might disengage the locks?
..... Vulcan, find me a generator on ebay. Make sure they offer same-hour warp delivery.

[Kaiaatzl]

Giant grey and black robot arm suddenly grabs the vial from Scyphi's fingers

Xaph: This show must... remain paused!  Forever!  Stasis dust!

All the Scyphis are frozen in suspended animation.  All is quiet as the four start escaping from the cell where both they and the Scyphis were trapped... until SUDDENLY, an enourmous booming explosion is heard from far beneath and a calm feminine computer voice says:

Reactor obliterated.  This facility will self destruct in T-minus: one hour.

FerretFire: What are you doing people?  RUN!

[Foxcannon pauses to bite RandomScyphi and EvilScyphi for the trouble they've both caused]

[Xaph pauses as if in indecision, do the 5 Scyphi's really deserve to die this way?]  No they don't.  [He decides.]  Only one of them does.  Stasis lift!

SmartScyphi, RegularScyphi, StupidScyphi, and... EvilScyphi are released.  RandomScyphi remains trapped in the slowly collapsing prison cell, but the rest are free to escape, should they choose.

To be actioningly continued... when things start moving!  And maybe dying too.

[Scyphi]

*Meanwhile, suddenly somewhere else that is NOT an unknown prison facility...*

[Whoa. How did we get out here so suddenly?--Scyphi]

[WoooOOOOoooow! What is this freakish place with the no walls, the weird leafy green things all over, and the bright ball of light in the blue ceiling that's shining in my eye?--StupidScyphi]

[It's called 'outside.'--EvilScyphi]

[Ooh, outside, that's a nice name. Did you come up with that just now?--StupidScyphi]

[...you really are stupid, you know that, right?--EvilScyphi]

[I know. You have a...a...you know...one of those things that keeps your life from going right? Starts with the letter 'P'?--StupidScyphi]

[You mean 'problem'?--EvilScyphi]

[Yeah, that's it! At least...I think it was...I thought I knew...but now I'm not so sure...--StupidScyphi]

[*sarcastically* As interesting as this conversation is...it doesn't answer the question of how we suddenly went from somewhere in the middle of that prison to out here.--Scyphi]

[I think I have an explanation. According to my deductions and reasoning, we were attacked, temporarily put into suspended animation by a handful of stasis dust, left like that for an unknown amount of time, and then somehow got out here through means unknown.--SmartScyphi]

[By who?--Scyphi]

[I'm assuming by whoever it was that bit me during the space of time I was suspended *shows off the bite*--EvilScyphi]

[*winces* Ooh, that looks like it hurts.--Scyphi]

[Kinda. But it'll scar nicely, so I'm happy.--EvilScyphi]

[We should make sure we're all still here. Everybody sound off!--SmartScyphi]

[Well, I'm still here.--Scyphi]

[Ditto.--EvilScyphi]

[What were we talking about?--StupidScyphi]

[Close enough. *pause* Hmm, seems like we're missing someone though.--SmartScyphi]

[Hey yeah, it does. Hmm, I can't think of who it is.--Scyphi]

[Darn it, now it's going to bug me. Who IS it?--EvilScyphi]

*Group spends a long time trying to determine who's missing to no avail*

[Well, whoever it is, I'm not missing him.--Scyphi]

[Now that's not very nice. Random always says you should...--StupidScyphi]

[*snaps fingers* That's it! We're missing RandomScyphi!--SmartScyphi]

[*suddenly appears with an ice cream cone* Somebody say my name?--RandomScyphi]

[*startled* GAH! Now where have YOU been?--Scyphi]

[Funny story. See, I was wandering around that prison facility with the rest of you guys, thinking about how I could REALLY go for a coconut ice cream cone, when suddenly you guys are all just gone. Then there's this computer voice thingy saying the whole place is going to blow up or something computery like that, and things started falling, so I thought 'to heck with this' and went home, thinking I'd find you guys there.--RandomScyphi]

[Just like that? You just went home like that? How? We were trapped in that darn prison for nearly TWO years!--Scyphi]

[What do you MEAN how? I just did this! *suddenly disappears and suddenly reappears on the other side of Scyphi* Ta da!--RandomScyphi]

[GAH! Stop it with that appearing thing! *realization sinks in* Wait a minute, you mean to say we could've just appeared in and out of that prison at will?--Scyphi]

[Well DUUUUH!--RandomScyphi]

[*slaps face* Why didn't we think of THAT sooner?--Scyphi]

[To be fair, even if we HAD thought of doing that, it would only mean me, Evil, Random, and Stupid could escape. You, Scyphi, would've still been stuck there, since you can't do the appearing thing.--SmartScyphi]

[Ah. I guess that makes sense.--Scyphi]

[Does it? I'm still trying to figure out why we didn't do it.--EvilScyphi]

[Weren't you listening? If we had done that, you would've had to leave me behind.--Scyphi]

[Exactly what I'm getting at.--EvilScyphi]

[*annoyed* Heeey...--Scyphi]

[*to RandomScyphi* So where did you get the ice cream cone?--StupidScyphi]

[That's the other part of my funny story. Once I got home and saw you guys weren't there either, I went to the ice cream parlor to get that coconut ice cream cone I was still craving. While I was there, I heard someone calling my name across the vastness of time and space, and came here, told you guys my funny story, and that brings us to right now. *pause* Do you want to here about right now?--RandomScyphi]

[Oooh, yes yes yes yes yes yes!--StupidScyphi]

[No no no no no no no no!--Scyphi]

[Oh c'mon! It won't take long!--RandomScyphi]

[It'd be long enough for me to shoot you.--EvilScyphi]

[....point taken. Shutting up.--RandomScyphi]

[Well now that we've got that sorted out, now what do we do?--EvilScyphi]

[I...guess we just go home. Is there any other reason we need to stick around?--Scyphi]

[What about your little vial thingy you were so obsessed about nearly two years ago?--RandomScyphi]

[Oh don't worry, I've got it right...*pats pockets*...um...*pats pockets some more*...I have it right...*frantically pats himself over, not finding it* AUGH! I don't have the cure anymore!--Scyphi]

[All right, vial, vial, who's got the vial? C'mon, people, fess up! Can't you see you're upsetting Scyphi here? You won't like him when he's upset! He's turns all big and green and starts smashing stuff!--RandomScyphi]

[I...think you're thinking of the Hulk, Random.--SmartScyphi]

[Whatever! I just know I don't like him when he's upset, so you guys shouldn't either! I mean LOOK at him!--RandomScyphi]

*All look at Scyphi, who is putting on a pathetic pouting face*

[Augh, the horror! So c'mon, guys! Fess up! Who's got the darn vial thingy?--RandomScyphi]

[I don't have it. You guys wouldn't trust me with it.--EvilScyphi]

[For reasons that will forever be a mystery to me, you guys wouldn't trust me with it either, so I don't have it either.--RandomScyphi]

[What's a vial?--StupidScyphi]

[And for that very reason, we certainly didn't give it to StupidScyphi to hold, and I don't have it either, so...somebody must have taken it.--SmartScyphi]

[Oh NO! That means somebody out there has the power to completely wipe out the MPD forum! And I'm still too young and pretty to die! I haven't even gotten the chance to do the stunt with the coconuts, the ponies, and the Pyro-GX!--RandomScyphi]

["Ponies"?--SmartScyphi]

["Pretty"?--Scyphi]

[Well, if this is really true, and the end is near, then my only regret is that I don't have any chocolate milk to drink while watching it all.--EvilScyphi]

[What is with you and chocolate milk?--SmartScyphi]

[Hey, eternal chaos comes with chocolate milk, you know. *pause* Or was it chocolate rain? Bah! You get the idea.--EvilScyphi]

[Oh no wait, here it is, false alarm. *pulls out vial, safe and sound*--SmartScyphi]

[What? You mean you had it THE WHOLE TIME?--EvilScyphi]

[Sort of. Actually I think I know what happened now. Somebody DID take a vial, it just wasn't the vial with the cure in it. It was a false vial I made in the event somebody attacked, temporarily put us into suspended animation by a handful of stasis dust, left us like that for an unknown amount of time, and stole the vial.--SmartScyphi]

[A fake? When did you have a fake vial and cure made?--Scyphi]

[C'mon, we were trapped in that prison for nearly two years, more than enough time to make fakes of just about anything should I put my mind to it.--SmartScyphi]

[Sooo...back to my original question. What now?--EvilScyphi]

[Anybody got any ideas? Random?--Scyphi]

[Huh? Oh, no, I just have been thinking about which sounded better, chimicherry, or cherrychanga.--RandomScyphi]

[You're a strange little man, you know that, right?--EvilScyphi]

[But talented...right?--RandomScyphi]

[Depends on how you define "talented."--Scyphi]

*long pause*

[I wanna go home.--StupidScyphi]

[Actually, before we do that, we need to end this matter once and all so everybody can get ON with their lives. Here, hold this.--SmartScyphi]

*hands the cure to StupidScyphi to hold before pulling out a remote and flipping a switch on it.*

*a distant boom is heard somewhere far away*

[What did you just do?--EvilScyphi]

[Triggered the fake cure to spontaneously combust and explode.--SmartScyphi]

[Cool.--Scyphi]

[So now what, oh great man with the plan?--RandomScyphi]

[Now we need to take this whole matter with the cure and put it to bed.--SmartScyphi]

[Oh, okay!--StupidScyphi]

*runs off, grabs a small bed, returns, and proceeds to tuck the cure under the covers*

[Good night cure!--StupidScyphi]

[*slaps face* No, I mean we need to resolve this matter with the cure once and for all! So let's hear everybody's ideas!--SmartScyphi]

[I have an idea!--Scyphi]

[OTHER than Scyphi, who just wants to use it to destroy all life in the MPD forum once and for all.--SmartScyphi]

*They all start brainstorming ideas except for Scyphi at ludicrous speeds*

[Kaiaatzl]

FerretFire: Well, we left the vial in a self-destructing facility.  Nothing could possibly have gone wrong with that plan.

Xaph: I told you s--

FerretFire: Apart from the socially inept raccoon here, does anyone else read at all?  Or understand sarcasm for that matter?

Xaph: What does reading fiction have to do with anything?

Ferret: Well we're fictional, for a start.

Xaph: Besides, the odds of someone foiling that plan must be... what?  A million to one?

Ferret: You just made it worse, you realize?

Xaph: ... 

Ferret: Pick up a book sometime.  In the meantime let's assume that the vial is still out there and someone still intends to use it, because everyone in this story is an author avatar who somehow knows exactly how to counter what's going on even without knowing what's going on.

Fox: Those five wierd people -- or at least four of them -- don't want the vial to exist any more than we do.  Why don't they just blow it up?

Ferret: Well the story would be over for one thing.  What use would we be?

N.I.P.: Well if they have it we can be pretty sure we're safe.  We're kind of still missing our leader and superego too.  We should go find him...

Fox: I always thought he was the id, he certainly acted like it...

N.I.P.: Well he did like Xaph.

Xaph: I resent that.  Fox is the one who bites people.

Ferret: And you're the one who leaves vials where anyone could pick them up for a whole hour and then lets the other people who wanted them go free because they didn't deserve it.  Sap.

Xaph: Just because I can eat plants and you can't doesn't make me--

N.I.P.: And if Fox is the ego...

Ferret: What are you then, and how did we even start talking about this Freudian #@!!$%!&?

N.I.P.: I'm a Yyurrian and we started talking about this because I said so.  And stop fighting.

Ferret: Why?

N.I.P.: Because I said so.

Ferret: And I say shut your Yyurrian snout.  We're having fun.

N.I.P.: I think he had more than one id -- unless one of them is his genre-savvy instinct.  And a very strange mind...

Fox: Are you even a part of the same personality?

N.I.P.: Yeah I'm the scientific method.  Wierd things happen when you take psychology classes.

Ferret: Are you even the same gender as the rest of us?

N.I.P.: I have no gender because I'm a sporophyte.  And how are you talking with Xaph in your mouth?

Ferret: Because exposition requires it.  And you can't be a sporophyte because you're not a plant.

N.I.P.: On Yyurri animal life evolved from algae and plants came from... very strange protists.  You could brush up on your xenobiology.

Ferret: Not when Yyurri only existed in the mind of a guy who got split into either animal attributes or fictional characters.  Xenobiology doesn't exist yet.  Hold still you sap-drinking primitive procyon half-predator!

Xaph: You hold still, you rabbit-killing mustellid monstrosity!  And I don't drink sap!

Ferret: [giggling madly] Yeah, you eat garbage...

Xaph: Fish!  Those city raccoons are dirty!

Ferret: He says, conveniently forgetting that time he kidnapped that guy using that gadget...

Xaph: That was more than two years ago!  And you thought it was awesome!

To be continued when the selves stop warring...

[Wraith-1]

Vulcan: Strange. Our gauss slugs seemed to destroy the entire facility even though we only hit the control center...

Dummy: Oh, did you want just straight slugs? I thought you wanted Mercury's special NC4N rounds.

Wraith: Doesn't matter now, we saw that plant go nuclear just a few minutes ago. Has Rick finished installing the new generator and cap banks yet?

Vulcan: He will take a few more minutes. There's some scanner data you should see over here though.

Wraith: Okay, two orange blobs. So... two unidentified contacts.

Vulcan: Both of which were scanned fleeing the dying facility recently, but neither of the groups seem to be paying any attention to us.

Hg: Bah! That idiot keeps insisting that I help him 'test' the capacitor bank by using it to vaporize a cleaning drone!

Rick: Well at least I installed it! You've just been in your lab doing something totally unrelated to our current objectives...

Wraith: I'm sure he had a good reason for-

Dummy: How do YOU know he had a good reason? What if he was plotting mutiny?

Wraith: Uh, possibly because I'm the central personality. Being such, I don't suppose I need to ask this, but what is the situation with our weapons?

Hg: With our capacitor bank restored and the secondary generator in place, we should be able to fire our guns at full charge once every 2 minutes. In addition, we have 4 guided missiles and 20 dumb rockets.

Vulcan: While we have considerably more firepower than anyone else here at present, we must also plan how to use this power effectively. As you can see from these two orange blips on the radar, our prey has fled in one of two possible directions.

Rick: Ugh, can't we just shoot them both?

Vulcan: Not without destroying the vial. If it comes to it, we might be able to risk firing upon one group and pursuing the other.

Wraith: You know, we could try to contact them.

Hg: BWAHahahaha. That was a joke, right?

Wraith: Not at all. We have a gunship, that's a pretty big bargaining chip. we don't even really need to get the vial, we just need to scan it and escape in one piece.

Vulcan: That will be easier said than done. Our armor plating is at only 42% of normal for a reason of which I am unaware.

*dummy looks around guiltily*

Wraith: Alright, we can still survive fire from just about anything short of STA missile turrets or another gunship. Vulcan, attempt to send a friendly sounding transmission to the first group to exit the prison.

Vulcan: Attempting to send transmission now. Their scan profile is less... Human, than the other group though.

*Wraith brings the ship up to full power and gets ready to take off, Dummy is trying to get a strip of Hg's duct tape off his tongue.*

[Scyphi]

[So...you want to be rid of that cure and be done with the matter once and for all, right?--EvilScyphi]

[That's right.--SmartScyphi]

[So why don't you just...I don't know...BLOW IT UP?--EvilScyphi]

[BECAUSE, that would obviously blast the cure all over the place, allowing it to take affect, obviously! I mean, SERIOUSLY, the ignorance of some people...--SmartScyphi]

[bogoforo]

_*meanwhile*

Bog: Sir, you called me?

Mage master: Bog, there is a great evil brewing in far away lands.

Bog: What must i do?

Mage master: There is a gift, a gift that some would call a curse. Some of the ones who would call it a curse have found a way to destroy it. You have been chosen because you are the greatest out of all my students. Your quest is to stop them.

Bog: If they are in far away lands, than how am I supposed to find them.

Mage master: In the basement of this structure I have constructed a portal. This portal should take you to the general area of where this is all happening, it will also give you the gift.

Bog: How will i get back?

Mage master: When you drink the cure, nobody will know how to recreate the cure, you will be transported back to this location, and you will not have the gift anymore. When this happens your quest is completed and the danger has passed.

_{*Bog walks into the portal and begins his adventure in the MPD forums*}

[NUMBERZero]

((Ok. Who has the vial? XD))

[Kaiaatzl]

Scyphi

[Scyphi]

(still trying to figure out what to do with it, by the way. Got an idea, just gotta put two with two still)

[Wraith-1]

Dummy: I'm booooored! Wraith and Vulcan are planning our next move, the fuzzy people from the prison didn't call us back, Mercury is fixing our armor plating after I spilled his hydrogen fluoride on it, and there's nothing to do!

Rick: Here, have something shiny.

Dummy: No way, I spent the last 3 hours looking at the last shiny thing I found. Why are you named Rick anyways? Wraith's real name isn't even CLOSE to Rick!

Rick: I dunno, I just kinda randomly came up with it, and now that's what I'm going to be called forever. I am the reckless side after all.

Wraith: *epicly opens door* Alright, we're all impatient. That's why I isolated another personality and gave it a corporeal form.

Rick: we're allowed to do that?

Pyr: Sure, it's still the same thread that we debuted in MPD. Can we set them on fire now?

Wraith: Engines- Full power. Energy bank- Max charge and full power recharging. Gravitics set to combat mode. Ship now on intercept course for orange blip #2. ETA 1 hour.