Topic: The *Disciples Lament the Silence

[D2Disciple]

Aboard the DiscipleNaught...

[Hey Mod, pass the jar of pickles... I need a snack. - SniperDisciple]

[You eat those by themselves as a snack? - ModMan]

[Ha, of course not. I just splash the vinegar in @Random's face and watch him run around screaming, "MY EYES! MY EYES!" - SniperDisciple]

[AHHHH! MY BUTT! MY BUTT! - @Random]

[In my defense, sometimes it's difficult to tell the difference. - SniperDisciple]

[I'm bored. If I don't find something to do soon, I'm just going to go to the observation deck and waste away in the universe's inevitable heat death thinking of "the good old days"... Say, whatcha doing over there, Taters? You're looking rather pensive. - HopelessCynic]

[Just thinking... It's been exactly three years. - Meat&Potatoes]

[Since....? - HopelessCynic]

[Your last colonoscopy? - SniperDisciple]

[What is with you and butts today? - ModMan]

[Today? I'm insulted you think my preoccupation with butts is limited to only this one day. - SniperDisciple]

[The last MPD Post. It was by us. In 2015. No replies back then, either. - Meat&Potatoes]

[Do you suspect they've found a cure for MPD? - ModMan]

[Goodness, I hope not. - SniperDisciple]

[Not really, I just think the novelty has worn off. - Meat&Potatoes]

[So? We just introduce a new character, give him some three-dimensional development, follow him over the course of an emotionally gripping story arc, and then let SniperDisciple drop him unceremoniously with a well-placed RPG... In the butt. - HopelessCynic]

[Awww, you spoil me, Cynic. - SniperDisciple]

[Maybe we should hang it up. You know, retire... The writing has been on the wall for years now. - Meat&Potatoes]

[What?? We can't do that! This is a lifelong condition! We just need to find a way to spread it. - ModMan]

[Pretty sure MPD isn't a communicable disease, Mod. - HopelessCynic]

[It isn't? Then what was in that vial labeled "MPD" that I've been sprinkling in @Random's food when he isn't watching? - SniperDisciple]

[... That's methylphenidate. A.K.A. Ritalin. Let me get this straight... You've been giving @Random a central nervous system stimulant?? - ModMan]

[HEYGUYSIJUSTTOOKUPTHETUBA,
ANDI'MGONNASTARTTHEFIRSTALL-TUBAGUNS'N'ROSESCOVERBAND,
DOYOUGUYSWANTTOBEAPARTOFIT,
OHWAITITHINKILIKETHECLAVINETMORE,
SCRATCHTHATIWANNALEARNHOWTOJUGGLECHAINSAWS,
BEBACKLATERLOLKTHXBAI - @Random]

[... What. Have. You. Done. SniperDisciple. - Meat&Potatoes]

[Did he just say he was going to learn how to juggle chainsaws? - ModMan]

[That's going to be difficult to explain at the eulogy back at his home orbiting Uranus. - HopelessCynic]

[Hehehehe... You said "Uranus." - SniperDisciple]

[Ya know what? Retirement sounds nice all of a sudden. - HopelessCynic]

[Scyphi]

[Hey, you know, we have a cure for MPD, so maybe we could...--Scyphi]

[*suddenly appears* Don't even think about it.--RandomScyphi]

[GAH! Would you STOP with the appearing thing already!?--Scyphi]

[*suddenly appears* Oh c'mon, Scyphi, you've been stuck here for over eight years now, and you mean to tell me you still haven't gotten used to the fact that we all can, and will, appear and disappear at will like this?--EvilScyphi]

[GAH! *grumbles to self for a second* Look, I know, I know, it's just...I don't know what my deal is!--Scyphi]

[You know what might help with that? *disappears and then immediately reappears* A coconut! Like this one here that I've been saving for a rainy day.--RandomScyphi]

[*suddenly appears but is oblivious to Scyphi's startled yelp* But it's not raining.--StupidScyphi]

[That is perhaps the most intelligent thing I've ever heard you say...which, all things considered, only shows just how LOW you've set the bar.--EvilScyphi]

[ Aw, thank you! You're so nice!--StupidScyphi]

[I'm not nice, I'm EVIL!--EvilScyphi]

[...yeah, sure. Anyway, getting back to my coconut...--RandomScyphi]

[*suddenly appears and ignores Scyphi spazzing out about it* And just how will a coconut help Scyphi to finally adjust to us appearing around at random?--SmartScyphi]

[SmartScyphi! I'm shocked! Shouldn't you of all personalities know that coconuts always solve everything?--RandomScyphi]

[*folds arms* How?--SmartScyphi]

[And since when?--EvilScyphi]

[Never underestimate the power of coconuts.--RandomScyphi]

[Never mind the coconut, can we get back to the cure I was talking abo....--Scyphi]

[No, we're not using the cure, Scyphi. We've been through this.--SmartScyphi]

[Oh c'mon! We'd be doing the world a favor!--Scyphi]

[We'd be doing you a favor, and since when have we EVER been helpful to you?--RandomScyphi]

[Case in point, Random, case in point.--Scyphi]

[Look, it's not going to matter as soon as I manage to destroy that cure once and for all, and then there won't be any cures to even argue over.--SmartScyphi]

[Yeah, how's that going anyway? Almost got that squared away finally?--EvilScyphi]

[...--SmartScyphi]

[I mean, you've only been trying to figure out how to safely destroy it for the past...well, let's see here...*does some quick mental math*...about six whole years now, so you gotta be getting pretty close now, right?--EvilScyphi]

[...--SmartScyphi]

[You haven't figured out how to destroy it at all yet, have you?--StupidScyphi]

[What's with you and all of these actually rather intelligently observant statements today?--RandomScyphi]

[Okay, I admit it! It's taken a bit longer to figure out than I first thought...--SmartScyphi]

[Heck of a lot longer than just a bit, smartypants, I mean it's been SIX YEARS for crying out loud!--EvilScyphi]

[IF NOTHING ELSE...I have found a way to keep that cure safely stored where it can't come to harm or be abused by Scyphi in the meantime. So there's that.--SmartScyphi]

[So out of curiosity...what IS this means of safely storing and where might it be located?--Scyphi]

[Like I'd really telly you.--SmartScyphi]

[*juggling his coconut* It's in his room, inside a small cardboard box on his desk. The top's not even closed.--RandomScyphi]

[RANDOM!--SmartScyphi]

[And just how do you know this?--EvilScyphi]

[I popped over there to see real quick while you were all talking about it.--RandomScyphi]

[*starting to slink away* Oh. Well. In that case...I think I'll just slip in there myself, and...--Scyphi]

[Think fast! *throws coconut at him*--RandomScyphi]

*It hits Scyphi in the head and knocks him out at ludicrous speeds*

[D2Disciple]

[So, here we are, six years later, and the best thing SmartScyphi could work out is putting the cure in an open cardboard box? - ModMan]

[Doesn't sound particularly smart to me. -HopelessCynic]

[I think it was actually kind of brilliant, since Scyphi probably would have never checked there had RandomScyphi not spilled the beans. - Meat&Potatoes]

[What's keeping him from just dumping the contents down the sink? - SniperDisciple]

[Shhhh! Don't give him any ideas... We want to SPREAD MPD, not introduce a cure into the water system and potentially prevent symptoms before they present on this board! - ModMan]

[Then... Why don't you just create a cocktail that actually causes MPD and is immune to any cure? - SniperDisciple]

[This should end well. - Meat&Potatoes]

[Fortunately for you, my fellow comrades, I have been working diligently on such a concoction for some time now. - ModMan]

[I have a strong taste in my mouth that Sonic-The-Hedgehog popsicles won't seem to cover up. - @Random]

[Dearest mother of all things blessed with Earthshaker missiles, don't tell me... - HopelessCynic]

[Back in my day, medicine tasted like wet dirt mixed with pig slop, and we had to walk ten miles, uphill both ways, through snow, barefoot, to get it. - @Random Sr.]

[I see it splits personalities into multiple subpersonalities. - Meat&Potatoes]

[Personality-ception! - HopelessCynic]

[I hereby sentence the flavoring of this chemical compound to life in its container, without parole, so that it may not harm anyone's taste buds ever again! - The Hon. @Random]

[Can I go back to playing Descent after taking this medicine, daddy? - @Random Jr.]

[In retrospect, I should have chosen a different test subject. - ModMan]

[No representation is made that the quality of the personality-splitting elixer to be consumed is greater than the quality of any other personality-splitting elixer created by other insane mad-science types. - @Random, Esq.]

[*suddenly materializes* Hi! -StupidDisciple]

[Oh geez. - HopelessCynic]

[Let us gather and pray that StupidDisciple never touches this wretched demon-brew that the poor, misguided ModMan hath wrought upon this world. - Rev. @Random]

[Hey, what's that liquid? I'm thirsty! - StupidDisciple]

[Can't believe I'm saying this, but... Amen, @Random. Amen. - SniperDisciple]