Topic: Hey all!

[VANGUARD]

Online dating is a sin against nature and is hazardous to the sanity.

I typically avoid that like the plague, but I met her off some Christian site back in February. Probably one of the VERY VERY few that are worth meeting. A lot I met, seemed like a waste of time.

But anyways, I talked about it some, and she just wants to take it slow. It's part of her, which I can respect. Taking it slow can be good, to build up a good friendship, a strong foundation, so on and so forth.

I don't know if it hurts as much as it use to. It was great fun last night, and talking about it last night I think helped.

I believe in respecting girls, not saying any of you don't. I do believe if things don't go well, and aren't meant to happen, break it off, but I think in this case, the best is give her the time, be there for her, be a good friend, take it a day at a time and see what may happen later on.

I did rescue her last night. We were outside and there was a spider by her ear. she hates spiders.


as for that movie, never saw it.

[Crash]

@Vanguard - I think you've got exactly the right idea. You can't do any more than that. Good play!

As for Gundam SEED - Haha, well - I'm not sure any reliable authority exists on the matter.
As a supposed law student, I don't think I could find a decided case to back me up )
The Japanese director certainly said in an interview that the characters' feelings were clear but subdued.

The guy gave the girl a ring but had to leave to take care of the ... saving-the-world, serious business and by the end of the series, they were both so weighed-down by differing responsibilities that they had to set all feelings to one side.
It was clear that they weren't happy about the situation but that was how the show ended without any kind of rectification. The fans were so unhappy that for the feature-length editions, the producers had to go back and change some details to try and compensate.
Indeed, the backlash was so strong that in subsequently-released material the producers had to backpedal quite a way.

Infact, the guy's friend even saved the girl from a hideous arranged marriage (crazy Japanese) earlier in the show too. There's no wedding-crashing like a wedding-crashing with a 20-metre-tall mobile suit.

I'm sure it would all have been cleared up by the sequel but the main writer suffered a serious cancer and so, Gundam 00 and Unicorn have now stolen the thunder in terms of production priority.
I'm sure we'll get a sequel eventually but it will take a long time if the production company doesn't want to erode its own sales by oversaturating its own market with different sub-franchises of Gundam.

[karx-elf-erx]

If her behavior suddenly changed, a few possible reasons immediately come to my mind:

a) If you both are coming from a religious background (your posting you found her on some Christian dating site), she has been talking to someone who has told her to hold back, be cautious, using religious arguments for that. Bleh.
b) She was only playing, and when she realized she was about to getting herself into something real, she retreated
c) She wasn't only playing (maybe a bit), but when she realized it was getting serious, she also realized she wanted to be sure it is what she really wants
d) She would (somewhat) like to have a relationship, but shys the risk of starting one
e) You are giving her the feeling that you depend on her too much or exclusively and she wants to make sure you are standing on your own feet and are thus capable to have a healthy love relationship

If I was you I would directly ask her what has led to her changing her behavior towards you and not allow her any "evasive maneuvers".

If a) is true, talk about it with her and find out what kind of beliefs or arguments have changed her mind. Holding hands and moving one's fingers through someone's hair isn't fornication.
If b) is true, get rid of her.
If c) is true ... oh well. Don't be too impatient, but don't wait too long for her to come to a conclusion either. No decision is a decision, too.
If d) is true, apply b). People like that stay lonesome forever because they do not understand that beginning a relationship always carries a risk with it, and that (sometimes) you can only find out whether you did the right thing by doing it. (That's meant by "learning from failure and mistakes" - but what is sometimes overlooked is that you learn from having done something right, too!)
You need to answer e) for yourself. If a person becomes the sole meaning of life for another person, that's obsessive and unhealthy. In this case, you would need to mature. A person you love is a good reason to live, but never *the* reason to live.

Nobody will take the burden of making a decision here from you though. If you are a Christian though (the born again kind), you can and should however in any case pray about it and follow what God is telling you. If he doesn't say anything, use your brain.

Ooooh yeah, amateur electronic counseling via the internetz! I think I know what I am talking about here though. Feel free to ignore all of this if you think it is just rubbish.

[VANGUARD]

d is about as close as it could be. I don't think she's a tease. if she was just playing around and then backed off, I highly doubt she would invite me to spend time with her and her friends. I also doubt she'd pay for some meals and even offer to drive at times. I doubt she'd be fine with some of the things I want to do.

I think in a nutshell, it's more like, we found each other attracted to each other, and not all the way, but we sort of let nature take its course. then she wanted to slow things down and not rush anything.
she hasn't dated often, and is sort of nervous to just start dating.

As I said, I think patience in the best. This is a friend, this I know, and maybe more later. I rarely come across people I get along with well and would consider a true friend. I have met some nice girls, and was with some for a while, but I never felt that friendship/closeness quite like with this girl.

I appreciate everyone's opinions. and I know how hard it is to help others sometimes. you don't know the girl, and in a lot of ways, even me.
That's why I ask for suggestions. like, if "b" was it, just playing around, that's an indication it's not good to be with her.

It's like people that cheat. That turns me off. I am not in a relationship with her, and I don't want to see any other girl. I'd feel guilty. Technically, I have no reason to, being I am single, not taken, but still. I like her, a lot. and my heart is set on her.

I have certainly prayed to God, and it seems like every time this has gotten hard, and I am like, I had enough, it's like something happens to change that. It's as if I know that God is saying I should be with her. As far as being friends, relationship or marriage, and for how long, I have no idea. but that's faith.

[Scyphi]

I'm not one to talk, but from what I understand, I have to agree that patience is the best move. Obviously, she feels like she's being pressed to rush, and doesn't want to, so she backed off, wanting to go at her pace. Trying to force her to do otherwise would only cause problems.

But by all means, don't let her out of your sight. Judging from your descriptions, I think you've both got something going here, it's just not time to act upon it.

[VANGUARD]

I'm not one to talk, but from what I understand, I have to agree that patience is the best move. Obviously, she feels like she's being pressed to rush, and doesn't want to, so she backed off, wanting to go at her pace. Trying to force her to do otherwise would only cause problems.

But by all means, don't let her out of your sight. Judging from your descriptions, I think you've both got something going here, it's just not time to act upon it.

I agree 100%. The more patient I am, and not pushy, I think the better it tend to get at times.

[Crash]

+1 to Karl and Scyphi. What they said.
Probably best to give plenty of space in that case. These things take time and people hate to be pressured. So I agree that patience is the key.

Best wishes to you, let us know how it goes!

[VANGUARD]

thanks