Topic: The Cure

[Scyphi]

[MWAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHA! MWAHAHAHAHA-ack, *cough* *cough* *cough*--EvilScyphi]

[Hey, don't stop! Keep going!--Scyphi]

[Sorry. Now where was I? Ah yes...MWAHAHAHAHAHA! HEEHEEHEE! WHOOHOOHOO! HAHAHA!--[EvilScyphi]

[*suddenly appearing* What are you two doing?--SmartScyphi]

[*jumps* GAH! *fumes for a moment* when are you guys going to STOP doing that?--Scyphi]

[Just answer the question.--SmartScyphi]

[Keep laughing, EvilScyphi!--Scyphi]

[I AM! MWAHAHAHAHA!--EvilScyphi]

[*suddenly appearing* Ohh, what are we laughing about?--StupidScyphi]

[GAH!--Scyphi]

[Can I laugh too? I'm really good! Watch! MWAHAHAHA!--StupidScyphi]

[*covers ears* Why must we keep doing that stupid laugh?--SmartScyphi]

[To set the mood!--Scyphi]

[Why?--SmartScyphi]

[Because I'm having an evil genius moment here! And it'll be done in 3...2...1!--Scyphi]

*Microwave dings*

[IT'S FINISHED!--Scyphi]

[MWAHAHAHAHAHA!--EvilScyphi]

[--StupidScyphi]

[?--SmartScyphi]

[It says a lot, don't you think?--StupidScyphi]

[Well, they do say a picture says a thousand words. But what is it that you've made, Scyphi?--SmartScyphi]

[*opens microwave and pulls out a vile* THIS!--Scyphi]

[*suddenly appears* Coconut.--RandomScyphi]

[GAH! *fumbles with the vile for a moment*--Scyphi]

[Ooooh, what's the thingy? *grabs for the vile*--RandomScyphi]

[*pulls it out of reach* If you really must know...--Scyphi]

[Of course I do. You must satisfy my sudden curiosity for random objects before I get REALLY annoying.--RandomScyphi]

[Hold on, before I do, I just thought of something. Seeing that all of you guys are really me, shouldn't you know already EXACTLY what I'm up to?--Scyphi]

[Yes and no. See, we are the physical manifestations of your various personality traits, so thereby we're still you, but we also have separate consciousness, so at the same time, we're NOT you, and thereby don't know everything you know. Otherwise, you would know everything we know. For example, if you knew everything I know, you would know what twelve times twelve was.--SmartScyphi]

[That's 212.--Scyphi]

[No.--SmartScyphi]

[Oh. Well, I was close, wasn't I?--Scyphi]

[No.--SmartScyphi]

[Oh. *thinks for a moment* But then, you told me once that I really DO have that smart part of me hidden away somewhere, so shouldn't I still know?--Scyphi]

[You do. You just suppress it, and thereby can't readily access it. This is why...--SmartScyphi]

[*interrupting* Yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah, what's the thingy?--RandomScyphi]

[You mean this? *holds up vile*--Scyphi]

[Yes! Tell me what it is!--RandomScyphi]

[Well, seeing that you guys can't seem to leave me alone, I took matters into my own hands, and made THIS!--Scyphi]

[*getting frustrated* and that IS?--RandomScyphi]

[The cure.--Scyphi]

[The cure to what?--StupidScyphi]

[*grins evilly* Multiple Personality Disorder, also known as MPD.--Scyphi]

*long moment of silence*

[You did WHAT?--SmartScyphi]

[He's mad! I always knew he was! I TOLD all of you twerps we needed to leave him alone, or he might try something like this!--RandomScyphi]

[Hey, don't go pinning this on us! If this is anybody's fault, it's YOURS, because YOU wouldn't leave him alone!--EvilScyphi]

[A fact that I'm conveniently overlooking at this time.--RandomScyphi]

[*Ludicrous* You made a CURE for MPD? Do you REALIZE what you've DONE?--SmartScyphi]

[Of course I've realize what I've done, I realize that the moment I open this vile and let out it's contents, all of YOU will be eradicated FOREVER! And then I can FINALLY get back to my life!--Scyphi]

[--StupidScyphi]

[Now wait a minute, wait a minute, how did you manage to pull this off? You aren't smart enough to just suddenly start making life-altering cures for life-essential things like MPD!--RandomScyphi]

[True. Which is why over the past several weeks I've been discreetly asking SmartScyphi several loaded questions to get him slowly tell me the instructions to make this cure without even realizing it.--Scyphi]

*all look at SmartScyphi*

[*sheepishly* Oops.--SmartScyphi]

[*slaps SmartScyphi* Way to go, stupid!--RandomScyphi]

[Hey! I'M Stu...ooh look, something shiny! *runs off*--StupidScyphi]

[Now, without further ado, I shall end the madness that is MPD for eveyone once and for all! *goes to open vile*--Scyphi]

[NOOO! I'm too young to die! *grabs vile and runs off* There are still random things I need to do! Random movies to quote! Random people to impersonate! I haven't even gotten the chance to say "teh randomness" yet!--RandomScyphi]

[*runs after him* Hey! Get back here! That's MY vile!--Scyphi]

[You gotta catch me first!--RandomScyphi]

*sees that Scyphi is gaining on him*

[Ack! I didn't mean it! Go away! Go AWAY!--RandomScyphi]

*gets tackled by Scyphi*

*Fighting ensues*

*Finally, Scyphi emerges victorious*

[Ah ha! It's mine again!--Scyphi]

[*suddenly appears and grabs the vile* Not anymore! *suddenly vanishes*--SmartScyphi]

[Hey! No fair using that...that...APPEARING thing!--Scyphi]

[*suddenly appears several feet away and turns and runs* You gotta think outside the box! But then I suppose you just aren't smart enough for that! *trips on a rock, falls, and drops vile* Crap!--SmartScyphi]

[You gotta watch where you're going, too!--Scyphi]

[*returning* Shiny, shiny, shiny, I love shiny things. *vile falls into his hands* Huh? What's this?--StupidScyphi]

[*hurrying over* Hey, StupidScyphi, give that to me!--Scyphi]

[*Waving his hands* No, no, no, give it here!--RandomScyphi]

[Ummmm.... *looks at vile in his hand* ...but it's so shiny!--StupidScyphi]

[StupidScyphi! PLEASE give it to me!--Scyphi]

[--StupidScyphi]

[Hey! *stops to think, then points* Look StupidScyphi! Something shiny!--Scyphi]

[*turns* Where?--StupidScyphi]

[*grabs vile* Ha ha! Who's victorious now?--Scyphi]

[*suddenly appears and punches Scyphi*--RandomScyphi]

[...ow. *drops vile*--Scyphi]

[*grabs vile* Ah ha! Now the MPD forum is safe again! Let's celebrate! Random coconuts for everyone!--RandomScyphi]

*gun clicks*

[If you'd like to keep your head and not have ol' Bessy blast it away, you'd better not move.--EvilScyphi]

[*freezes* Not moving. Look at how not moving I'm not moving at the moment.--RandomScyphi]

[*grabs vile* Here you go, Scyphi, here's your vile back.--EvilScyphi]

[*takes it* Thank you!--Scyphi]

[So you're on HIS side?--SmartScyphi]

[Why do you think I was providing all that evil laughter for him earlier?--EvilScyphi]

[But why?--SmartScyphi]

[A cure capable of lots of death, destruction, and wiping out whole forums from existence? How could I NOT side with that?--EvilScyphi]

[But if you let him use that cure, you'll be wiped out too!--RandomScyphi]

[A fact that I'm conveniently overlooking at the moment.--EvilScyphi]

[*rolls eyes* Oh, the irony.--RandomScyphi]

[*goes to open vile* Ha ha! Now nothing can top me!--Scyphi]

[*suddenly appears and grabs vile* No! I can't let you! Think of all the innocent personalities you'll be killing!--RandomScyphi]

[*grabs vile as well and yanks* It's not like I'm killing the owner of those personalities, just their physical manifestations!--Scyphi]

[*yanks back* It's still genocide! Now let go!--RandomScyphi]


[You let go!--Scyphi]

[YOU let go!--RandomScyphi]

[YOU let go!--Scyphi]

[Uh, guys...--SmartScyphi]

[*all together* WHAT?]

[Um, this might be a bad time, but I feel I should point out that we've been surrounded by some very shady and shadowy, creepy, unidentifiable people in black suits and sunglasses.--SmartScyphi]

*they all look*

[Agh! It's the Men in Black! *cowers*--RandomScyphi]

[No, no, I think they're here to get the cure, to keep YOU from using it, Scyphi!--SmartScyphi]

[*gasp* You mean...--Scyphi]

[Yeah! They're the moderators for the MPD Forum! And if you destroy it, they'll be out of a job! They can't let you use that cure!--SmartScyphi]

[*looks at all the shady suits encircling and approaching him* Um...*throws vile to RandomScyphi* here, catch!--Scyphi]

[*catches it, then looks at army of shady suits heading towards him* Um... *throws it to SmartScyphi* Think fast, smartypants!--RandomScyphi]

[*catches it, and looks around for someone else to throw it to* EvilScyphi! Go along!--SmartScyphi]

[*is shooting at encroaching army of suits* Kind of busy here!--EvilScyphi]

[Um...*sees suits and looks for another person to throw to* StupidScyphi, quick, catch this!--SmartScyphi]

[Huh? *vile falls into open hands* Again?--StupidScyphi]

[*fighting off shady suits* Quick, StupidScyphi, don't let them get the vile!--Scyphi]

[*looks at approaching suits* Um...okay. *turns and throws vile out of post*--StupidScyphi]

[NOO! If nobody catches that vile in the next post, then MPD as we know it is dead!--RandomScyphi]

[Yay! Here's hoping nobody catches it! *gets tackled by suits* Ow.--Scyphi]

*all get tackled and hauled away at ludicrous speeds*

[NUMBERZero]

[Quick, Fixer! Use your grapple beam to get that vile!-Zero]

*He slung his left fist towards the flying vile. A beam was emitted and it encased the vile in a form of energy. He jerked back his fist and opened his hand to catch it.* [Got it!-Fixer]

[Nice job! Let's get back to the dropship. We'll be taking these bums and their vile to the Novak prison on Phobos. The scientists will be wanting to look this over. Perhaps we can alter it to create even MORE personality disorders! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAA!!!!-Zero]

[Sir?-Fixer]

[Ahem. Sorry about that.-Zero]


*The Scyphis and the vile were taken to the prison facility. The Scyphis were locked up and the vile was suspended above a pedestal in a movie cliché-like room.*

[SaladBadger]

[InsanityBrains: I think the word you're all looking for is "Vial"]

[InsanityKiller: you would]

[-<WillyP>-]

A shrubbery! You must return here with a shrubbery or you will never pass through this world...  Alive!

[D2Disciple]

[I suddenly had the nigh-irresistable temptation to lock this thread. -D2Irony]

[... Where did you come from? I thought we left you in that truck stop back on Europa. -Meat&Potatoes]

[I hitchhiked back. -D2Irony]

[That makes perfect sense, unfortunately.  And SniperJunkie, since when did you even own a black suit? -Meat&Potatoes]

[Since I wanted to intimidate other forum users into giving me their precious cargo. -SniperJunkie]

[Since he's been unsuccessful at actually stealing their precious cargo. -HopelessCynic]

[Trouble on Phobos, guys. The *Zeros have acquired a cure for MPD from the *Scyphis, which is bad enough. But now they want to alter the virus to create more personalities. -ModMan]

[Unnnnngggghhhhh.... - Zombified RockstarJunkie]

[Or to create hoards of reanimated personalities from very bad MPD's past. -HopelessCynic]

[I might have gotten some on my tie. -SniperJunkie]

[AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! - @Random]

[SaladBadger]

[InsanityKiller: More personalities, is this really what we need?]

[InsanityBrains: I doubt it. I'm already having to share brain cells with manafestations of all of InsanityBringer's interests and obsessions]

[InsanityRydia: I heard that! Don't make me get bahamut after you!]

[InsanityBrains: See what I mean? This really isn't the best situation we're in.]

[InsanityKiller: Actually, I think I like her... ]

[InsanityTech: We have more important things to deal with though -- perhaps recovering that vial will be the first step]

[PortalInsanity: And then throw it into a fire!]

[InsanityBrains: Fetch for DoomInsanity, we'll have him go in]

[InsanityTech: I'm on it! /me runs into com room]

[BrainlessInsanity: me come long two?]

[InsanityBrains: I think you know the response to that]

[Scyphi]

*Meanwhile, in an unknown prison facility...*

[You know, I've never been in jail before. This is entirely a new experience for me.--RandomScyphi]

[Of course you would grin at the thought of being locked up in prison.--Scyphi]

[It's nothing new for me, I've been in jail loads of times.--EvilScyphi]

[How? You're really me, and I know that I have NEVER been in jail before now. I'm the ideal citizen. So how can YOU have been in jail before?--Scyphi]

[It's a quantum physics thing. I'll explain it another day. Maybe some day when we're not all locked together in one prison cell.--SmartScyphi]

[--StupidScyphi]

[Ah, cheer up, StupidScyphi, some day we'll remember this and laugh. And laugh. And laugh. *sighs* Ohhh boy.--RandomScyphi]

[Well, on the bright side, we're all still here, so obviously somebody caught the vile StupidScyphi threw.--SmartScyphi]

[That's a bad thing for me! I don't wanna be stuck here in this MPD forum thing.--Scyphi]

[Aw c'mon, you KNOW you secretly love it!--RandomScyphi]

[I DO NOT!--Scyphi]

[It'll grow on you the longer you stay here!--RandomScyphi]

[I'm not listening! LA LA LA LA!--Scyphi]

[There'll be cake later!--RandomScyphi]

[Don't listen to him, the cake's a lie.--SmartScyphi]

[HEY! Don't RUIN the surprise for him!--RandomScyphi]

[*standing up* All right, that's it, we are getting out of here before I get any madder and kill something.--EvilScyphi]

[*perking up* Now you're talking! Let's get out of here, and get back my cure!--Scyphi]

[NOOO! No cure for you!--RandomScyphi]

[Actually, RandomScyphi, Scyphi's right, we DO need to, at the very least, get the vile back out of the hands of whoever's got it.--SmartScyphi]

[We do? I mean...of course we do! *pause* Why do we?--RandomScyphi]

[Well, theoretically, that cure could be altered so that instead of eradicating MPD as we know it, it'll enhance it ten fold.--SmartScyphi]

[How is that a bad thing for anybody except Scyphi?--EvilScyphi]

[Because MPD is chaotic in nature, and all of that chaoticness in one spot could, theoretically, tear the universe apart.--SmartScyphi]

[Oooh. That's bad. Right?--StupidScyphi]

[Sounds like just another walk in the park for us MPD personalities.--RandomScyphi]

[Well, I will give you guys that much, then, your lives are never boring.--Scyphi]

[AH HA! I KNEW you liked it here!--RandomScyphi]

[I didn't say that!--Scyphi]

[ENOUGH ARGUING! Let's just focus on getting out this cell for right now, all right?--EvilScyphi]

[But how are we going to do that? We're in here, and the button that opens the cell is over THERE.*points out between the prison bars to where the button sits on opposite wall*--SmartScyphi]

[*pokes one arm between the bars to try and reach the button but fails* Nope, too far to reach.--StupidScyphi]

[Too bad we don't have anything we can throw.--Scyphi]

[Gotcha covered. *pulls out a knife*--EvilScyphi]

[Whoa! You managed to sneak that past the Men in Black?--RandomScyphi]

[Yep!--EvilScyphi]

*Steps up to the bars and throws knife at button. He misses*

[Darn it!--Scyphi]

[Don't worry, I've got another! *pulls out another knife*--EvilScyphi]

*He throws it, and misses again*

[Darn it again!--Scyphi]

[We're not finished yet! *pulls out another knife*--EvilScyphi]

*He throws it, it misses*

[Boy, you aren't very good at this knife throwing thing, are you?--RandomScyphi]

[Just shut up!--EvilScyphi]

*pulls out another knife and throws it. It misses*

[Grrr!--EvilScyphi]

*several minutes later*

[C'mon, EvilScyphi, you didn't take that online knife throwing class for nothing...--EvilScyphi]

*pulls out another knife, throws it, and misses*

[That's knife 124.--StupidScyphi]

[Where are you keeping all of those knives anyway?--Scyphi]

[*pulls out another knife* You don't wanna know.--EvilScyphi]

*he throws it and misses*

[Knife 125.--StupidScyphi]

[AUGH! There must be a forcefield or an invisible knife-repulsion-barrier around that button!--EvilScyphi]

[There's no such thing!--SmartScyphi]

[*gets a thought* Hey, you know, we're doing this the hard way.--RandomScyphi]

*He suddenly vanishes, then reappears next to the button. Smirking, he presses it. The cell door opens*

[*slaps face* Why didn't we think of that sooner?--SmartScyphi]

[ --StupidScyphi]

[C'mon guys, let's go find that vile!--Scyphi]

*They sneak out of the cell at not-so-ludicrous speeds*

[NUMBERZero]

(Did you get that knife throwing idea from Ronon from Stargate Atlantis? )

[SaladBadger]

[InsanityTech: Good news from the prison: the Scyphis appear to be free and on the march for the vile]

[InsanityBrains: That's VIAL FOR PETES SAKE!]

[InsanityTech: So sue me]

[LawyerInsanity: I expect you in the court Tuesday for your hearing]

[InsanityTech: Screw you]

[Kaiaatzl]

Lol @ "online knife throwing class"...
I can see why it's hard for EvilScyphi to throw well.

[Scyphi]

(@ NUMBERzero: As a matter of fact, yes. 'Cept I think EvilScyphi has somehow managed to carry even more knives on his personage than Ronan. )

[Sidhe Priest]

Details

[Here comes a cover of The Cure!] - Melomaniac-Priest
[It's pink! Run away!] - Hardcore-Metal-Priest

[Kaiaatzl]

[The N.I.P]: I don't want a cure for MPD!  I only just got the diagnosis and I want to try it out!

[Ferretfire]: Shut up

[SaladBadger]

[InsanityBrains: looks like modifications weren't needed in the first place. We're already getting more personalities here!]

[MinecraftInsanity: oh hey guys]

[InsanityTech: hey, what do you want with us?]

[InsanityRydia: Oh I invited him here from another part of the brain. You people were getting boring]

[MinecraftInsanity: That's right. In fact, on the trip here, I found a fair amount of iron. I can't wait to smelt this stuff and make some new tools!]

[InsanityBrains: Wait, did you just say you... tunneled through the brain with a pickaxe?]

[MinecraftInsanity: It's a possibility... Either that or I just got yanked from some alternate universe. I remember things being a lot more cubic]

[BrainlessInsanity: hey look its a blue shirt guy hi blue shirt guy what do you want blue shirt guy]

[InsanityBrains: On second thought, I'd say that you did tunnel through the brain]

[InsanityKiller: Uh, is this when I come in?]

[InsanityTech: This is my computer room! No need to get violent here!]

[Kaiaatzl]

[Xaph]Who needs a cure, I just invented a TIME MACHINE!!!

[Ferretfire]Shut up.

[FoxCannon]Dude you need to get more of a personality.

[Ferretfire]I'm working on it, it seems I got less of his personality than any other fragment.

[The N.I.P]Who are we anyway?

[FoxCannon]No idea.

[Xaph]Whoever it is was probably a total loser, like a motivational speaker with stage fright.

[Ferretfire]Says the raccoon who looks like he's wearing geeky glasses instead of a bandit mask.

[Xaph]Shut up.

[Otterhawk]Well whoever he was he's completely dissociated, the original person doesn't exist anymore.

[The N.I.P]Speaking of which, why are we animals?  Wasn't the guy human?

[FoxCannon]Maybe we're animal attributes of his different personality parts?

[The N.I.P]But I have no idea what kind of animal I am.  Don't humans only attribute personalities to common animals?

[FoxCannon]I suppose... then I have no idea why.

[Ferretfire]In any case we're probably beyond cure.

[Otterhawk]Yeah.

[The N.I.P]Definitely.