Topic: Joke Thread - (keep it clean)

[TechPro]

Still funny, tho.

[Foil]

I hadn't seen the insult compilation before.  I'd heard some of the Churchill ones, but not many of the rest.  Good stuff. 

[-<WillyP>-]

An man in Florida owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts and some orange and grapefruit trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, ‘we’re not coming out until you leave!’ The old man frowned, ‘I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.’ Holding the bucket up he said, ‘I’m here to feed the alligator…’ Some men can still think fast…

[-<WillyP>-]

There was this haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk – the ghost which `lived’ there was feared by all.

However, an enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom. When he entered the house, armed with only his camera, the ghost descended upon him, clanking chains et al. He told the ghost “I mean no harm – I just want your photograph”. The ghost was quite happy at this chance to make the headlines – he posed for a number of ghostly shots.

The happy journalist rushed back to his dark room, and began developing the photos. Unfortunately, they turned out to be black and underexposed.

So what’s the moral of the story?

The spirit was willing but the flash was weak.

[-<WillyP>-]

[-<WillyP>-]

[TechPro]

Nice!

[VANGUARD]

I don't get the ghost one at all. Ipad was a nice one. Its more handy than what one thinks

[Matthew]

Didn't really get the ghost one either. The Can-o-whoopass made me laugh, the ipad one was kinda funny too.

[Scyphi]

All I could think about on the iPad one was that so much for that very expensive iPad.

[VANGUARD]

i like her expression at the end. saw it this time on a computer and not a smartphone, so I saw her expression better. it almost gave me the impression that she was like, 'no biggie, let's see what happens when it comes out."

[Kaiaatzl]

I don't get the ghost one at all.

You should be so lucky.

[-<WillyP>-]

[Matthew]

Sadly my dogs (or at least one of them) is too smart for that.

[Alieo]

A bear and a rabbit were shitting in the woods.
The bear asked the rabbit, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
"No," answered the rabbit.
Then the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped its butt with the rabbit.