Topic: Joke Thread - (keep it clean)

[VANGUARD]

I can agree to that. we posted pretty much at the same time. it said "warning, someone posted while you were typing this message' something like that.

[SaladBadger]

After switching from IE, being forced to use IE at all anymore is a pain. The UI change didn't really help.

[Scyphi]

Agreed, now that I've been using Firefox for so long now, it feels almost torturous to have to use IE for any reason. I can just feel the difference in performance almost instantly now. 

[VANGUARD]

it didn't take long before I got firefox on my work computer.

[TechPro]

Regarding the 8/23/2011 Earthquake along the U.S. East Coast...

The Weather Channel says the east coast earthquake was caused by an unknown faultline running under D.C. and through Virginia. It is now being called Obama's Fault, though Obama will say it's really Bush's Fault. Other theories are that it was the Founding Fathers rolling over in their graves, or that what we all believed to be an earthquake was actually the effect of a 14.6 trillion dollar check bouncing in Washington.

[NUMBERZero]

Wow. So many good sayings about that. This is win.

[Matthew]

Conspiracy experts say the 14.6 Trillion dollar check may be hiding inside the walls of the empire state building. Engineers merely shook their heads, saying that the check is far too large for be hidden.

[TechPro]

I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, “Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?”

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked-geek.

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires! So I called him a horse’s behind.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first… then started writing a third ticket!

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

I didn’t care, my car was parked around the corner.


 

[VANGUARD]

pure evil (insert evil smile)

[Kaiaatzl]

Conspiracy experts say the 14.6 Trillion dollar check make me hiding inside the walls of the empire state building. Engineers merely shook their heads, saying that the check is far too large for be hidden.

May be?

[Matthew]

Um, yeah, noticed that right before you saw your post.

And techpro, you've posted that before

[Kaiaatzl]

Yap I'm hearing that joke a lot lately.

[TechPro]

Um, yeah, noticed that right before you saw your post.

And techpro, you've posted that before

I did?  I don't think so ... perhaps it was WillyP ...

Holy cow, I did!.  OK, here's another joke:
-------------


After a day fishing in the ocean, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He's approached by the game warden, who asks him for his fishing license. Not having one, the fisherman says to the warden, "I didn't catch

these lobsters. They're my pets. Every day, I take them down to the water for a swim. Then, when it's time to go home, I whistle, and the lobsters jump back into the bucket."

The warden doesn't believe him and reminds the fisherman that it's illegal to fish without a license.

The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me, watch." He throws the lobsters back into the water.

The warden says, "OK, now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they can jump out of the water."

The fisherman turns to the warden and asks, "What lobsters?"

[Matthew]

After a day fishing in the ocean, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He's approached by the game warden, who asks him for his fishing license. Not having one, the fisherman says to the warden, "I didn't catch

these lobsters. They're my pets. Every day, I take them down to the water for a swim. Then, when it's time to go home, I whistle, and the lobsters jump back into the bucket."

The warden doesn't believe him and reminds the fisherman that it's illegal to fish without a license.

The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me, watch." He throws the lobsters back into the water.

The warden says, "OK, now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they can jump out of the water."

The fisherman turns to the warden and asks, "What lobsters?"

[Scyphi]

I'm sure the warden wasn't amused.