Topic: Joke Thread - (keep it clean)

[VANGUARD]

so according to what you said, we can make fun of Obama after someone else is president.

I don't get why some are so touchy on some subjects. I don't care if anyone, like Jay Leno, makes fun of politics. as long as it's tactful. I don't care if its liberals, conservatives. Bush or Obama, Cheney or Biden. if tactful, I don't mind.

I am not going to touch that political stuff, not on this thread.
Let's keep it a 'joke thread'


I forgot to type out a joke last night from my computer. But I moved, and no internet yet there.

[VANGUARD]

I happen to agree with that -- from a more international perspective -- Obama is the polar opposite of the "Bush disaster".

so higher unemployment and a debt ceiling that is being raised every minute is better than the "Bush disaster"?

sorry, had to say something. 14 trillion in debt is A LOT. he shot that thing up HIGH!
gas, electricity is shooting up.

this debt is like a credit card. the more you spend, the more you're in debt. stop spending and pay up and you won't be in so high of debt anymore.

[Kaiaatzl]

I'm talking more about international diplomacy... as a non-american, that's the part of US politics that I see the most, and that interests me the most.

I do know about these other disasters but they don't have so much relevance to my life here in Canada, so they're the kind of thing I tend to forget when I'm not thinking about it.

Basically I'm not arguing with anyone who is living in the States and has that vantage point.  So I'm not arguing with you.  I'm speaking from an entirely different point of view, and about an entirely different facet of your political system.

[Scyphi]

Unfortunately, there are some politicians that just can't help but be on the butt end of jokes.

As for presidents, Obama's okay. Definitely not perfect, and I don't agree with all of his plans, but there are definitely worse people out there who could've become president. Personally, I have more of a grudge against congress, which lately has been spending more time bickering with itself that actually doing work, and I think that's really Obama's biggest problem. He'd probably get a lot more done if he didn't have to be constantly deal with finicky congress...

And, to be fair, I think Bush wasn't quite as bad as everybody makes him out to be, and to be fair, most of the 'bad' things people associate with him isn't entirely his fault (rarely is, that's how the US government works).

And as for the issue of debt, it's been an issue for many decades now, so it's unfair to try and blame it on any one person. In all honesty, the government has spent most of it's time just trying to ignore it, hoping it will go away on it's own, only to just now finally realize that's not going to happen. As for the government's lack of action to try and fix that, I again point at congress, and not Obama. In fact, I thought Obama had the right ideas at first, but congress wouldn't go for it, and he was forced to compromise for something much less and insufficient.

But now that I've said that, let's get back to the jokes. Politics depresses me.

[VANGUARD]

sort of a joke, and a signature I believe I saw on here, or at PlanetDescent.com

who had the saying (and probably not word for word; sorry)

"Glass tastes a lot like blood."

I'm guessing it's one of three people, Scyphi, Kaiaatsel, and IHateHackers.

[NUMBERZero]

Uhoh, I have a few things to point out about Mr. Obama, but I won't say them here.

I remember that sig. I would bet my money on Scyphi.

[Kaiaatzl]

I know it wasn't me.  But I'm getting a feeling it will be soon... if I really decide I want to add something even more to my sig.

Oh, and on the topic of quotes... anyone who plays against me in Descent automatically has a mascot now... your mascot is a sick hedgehog.
Also, Pyrax will be a clan soon... as soon as Xaihyv, Klixovann, and I each finish writing a "Pyrax the short story".  After that, anyone who wants to join the clan must simply provide us with their own "Pyrax the short story".

[Matthew]

Wasn't me either.

[VANGUARD]

My first guess was scyphi. and that may be the one. I'm not sure though. may not be any of the three I mentioned. it's been so long, and with names being changed.

I know I had a few different names a while ago, I want to say one is Dark Knight, or Dark Warrior; guessing Dark warrior. but years have gone by, and still "Vanguard"

[TechPro]

No, wasn't Scyphi.

A little web searching usually comes back with a DeviantArt user who has that in his signature ... But I haven't found any connections of that person to anything Descent.

[-<WillyP>-]

An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work.
His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison for bank robbery. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

Shortly, he received this reply, "For HEAVEN'S SAKE Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the Money!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen policemen showed up and dug up the entire garden, without finding any money.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Now plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do from here."

[Matthew]

  That's a good one.

[Shroudeye]

I've heard the military version of it

Anyways, a quickie:

A blonde buys a BMW, and drives to a city 6 hours from where she lives. When returning, she calls her friends and asks them to greet her. So her friends prepare.

6 hours pass after her call, yet she doesn't show up.

At the end of the day, she is still nowhere to be found.

Another day passes, then another. Finally she arrives.

Her friends, puzzled:
-How could it took 6 hours for you to go, but 3 days to return?!
The blonde:
-It wasn't my fault, it was a design error! There were 6 forward gear, but just ONE reverse!

[-<WillyP>-]

he he 

[VANGUARD]

An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work.
His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison for bank robbery. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

Shortly, he received this reply, "For HEAVEN'S SAKE Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the Money!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen policemen showed up and dug up the entire garden, without finding any money.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Now plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do from here."

don't take it personally, I had to read it twice. It's one of those days where my mind is on idle.

it's a good way to get things done; the joke; digging.