Topic: Joke Thread - (keep it clean)

[-<WillyP>-]

Is that a double positive or two single positives?

[-<WillyP>-]

Google Maps 8-bit for NES

Google Maps for 8-bit NES... April Fools!

[TechPro]

Along that same theme, the ne Toshiba Shapes (tablets)

Introducing Shapes by Toshiba -- Official TV Commercial

And product link: http://us.toshiba.com/shapes/

[-<WillyP>-]

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.  He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial.  The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility .....
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this
so-called offender.  Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer.
Do you have a room where you change your clothes
in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir, ... I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

A: 'Yes, sir.'
 
Q: You trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.  The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.

[Scyphi]

It was a lame argument from the lawyer anyway. He was just grabbing at straws with that, really.

[-<WillyP>-]

True, but i thought it funny. A cop is considered an expert witness and I don't think this sort of questioning would be tolerated in a real courtroom.

[-<WillyP>-]

A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they heard a voice call from behind a sand-dune say, "One Marine is better than ten Taliban."
 
The Taliban commander quickly sent 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle broke out and continued for a few minutes, then silence.
 
The voice then called out, "One Marine is better than a hundred Taliban soldiers."
 
Furious, the Taliban commander sent his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commenced.  After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
 
The voice called out again, "One Marine is better than one thousand Taliban."
 
The enraged Taliban commander mustered a thousand fighters and sent them over the dune.  Cannon, rocket, and machine gun fire rang out as a huge battle is fought.
 
Then silence.
 
Finally one wounded Taliban fighter crawled back over the dune and with his dying words told his commander, "Don't send any more men, it's a trap.  There are two of them."

[Kaiaatzl]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAITSEVIL

[-<WillyP>-]

In order to make sure all pieces arrived together, there were appropriate shipping instructions on the recent Shuttle flight to Washington, D.C.

[Scyphi]

*is laughing too hard to speak*

[Alieo]

LOL! @ Post #441

[Scyphi]

On another note, I have to admit that Discovery there really is showing her age when compared to that jet.

[Alieo]

What is the underbelly of the shuttle made out of? Some sort of fire retardant to prevent it from burning up in the atmosphere I suppose, right?

[Kaiaatzl]

I would guess... but I'm sure there are other ways to stop it from burning than simply fireproofing the whole ship.  I should ask Xaihyv.

Did I say ship?

[Scyphi]

After doing some brief research on Wikipedia, it apparently seems that it's actually made of more than one material, based on where on the shuttle it faces the most stress/temperatures. It seems to be mostly tiles of silica ceramics, though.